


i'm yours tonight

by ghostknife



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Dancing, F/M, First Kiss, Formalwear, Getting Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-13 21:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16480160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostknife/pseuds/ghostknife
Summary: At a party hosted by a client of the Mighty Nein, Caleb and Jester's second dance goes a lot better than their first.





	i'm yours tonight

**Author's Note:**

> I've started to fall for this pairing so I had to try to write something.
> 
> I wasn't sure to tag it since I don't know if it's significant enough to do so, but I write Caleb as a trans man and I wanted to say it outright, even if I mention it briefly in the text, thanks. It's an important hc to me

Jester stands out even this distance away from the packed ballroom floor, her blue, sparkling skirts a swirling storm as she dances around to the music. She’s certainly giving Fjord a run for his money, the half-orc seemingly rushing to keep up with pace her, trying his best to keep his composure, but both end up a laughing mess.

It’s impossible to not be happy when you’re around her, though, Caleb thinks.

Even after all Jester’s been through on this journey and still knowing what’s to come, she hasn’t let any of it break her. She still keeps after the happiness, lighting up the party’s and nearly everyone she encounters lives, even if some do not deserve that kindness. Jester is still able to find the spark of hope in people and fuel it into something bright and that has Caleb in awe. It’s something he’s never been able to do, nor is he sure he ever could be.

Making sure _she's_ happy has become an important thing to Caleb. So even if there's a tiny pit of jealousy swirling in his gut at the sight of Jester swinging around the dancefloor with Beau or Fjord or anyone else, he can live it. That’s not to say Jester owes him anything of the sort, though; there’s just a longing Caleb hasn’t felt towards anyone in a long while and wouldn’t mind being in their place.

Caleb frowns a little to himself, taking a small sip of what's left of his wine, a bit disappointed to reach the bottom of the glass. The people at this party aren't the Nein's style of people - all rich nobles and politicians, the like. They were only invited to the celebration as a thank you for a larger job, and if it weren’t for that fact, the lot of them don’t really belong here, or at least Caleb feels like _he_ doesn’t.

They've been here for two hours and thirty-seven minutes to this point and things are starting to pile up in Caleb’s senses, making him infinitely more uncomfortable. The chatter from the whole party is starting to become grating, the sounds of Beau and Caduceus's conversation next to him starting to blur into indistinguishable, pin-pricking types of noise. Caleb's formal clothes are starting to feel uncomfortable, too, tight and stiff against his body in a way he hates. His binder isn't really helping in that regard either.

Fresh air sounds like a good idea. Caleb figures there ought to be a garden or balcony somewhere around this place. He turns to Nott beside him, who’s taking a large gulp of wine as she listens in on the conversation at the table.

“Ah, Nott,” She freezes mid-sip, eyebrows raised as she acknowledges Caleb with a muffled _‘mm?’_ “I’m getting a bit antsy, so I’m going to look for a place to step outside for a bit. Perhaps snoop round the upper floors, we’ll see.”

She swallows down the rest of her drink, setting the cup down with a nod. “Alrighty, just be careful. Message me if you need anything?”

 _“Ja,_ of course.” He smiles, leaning over to give her a quick hug. 

Caleb takes a last quick glance over at the dancefloor before rising from the table and making his way towards the other end of the main room. He takes a flight of stairs that disappear into the second floor, cautious at first in case he’s breaking some sort of rule, but no one stops him.

He disappears down a hallway, keeping an eye out for some interesting place to escape to for a few moments, but also for anyone else on the upper levels of the mansion. Caleb realises he’s _probably_ not supposed to be poking around up here, but there were no explicit instructions saying he _couldn’t,_ so that must mean it’s all fine and well to do so.

It takes a few minutes but eventually Caleb pokes his head into what must be someone’s study - it’s rather small compared to the other rooms, but still fairly large, regardless. A number of shelves are off to right side of the room, as well as a grandiose desk pushed against the left wall, with other research and writing materials scattered across the room. A large, circular window rests high on the back wall, allowing the moons to drench the room in a decent amount of light. Below it are a set of glass doors, decorated sparsely with gold-colored wiring in swirling patterns along the edges, matching the window above. They seem to open into a small balcony.

A flicker in the back of Caleb’s mind wonders if he could have had a study this nice if he had stuck with the Empire. He quickly disperses the thought, though; he’s happy here with everyone else in the group, living their lives like this. He can’t imagine himself willingly ingraining himself more within the Empire, especially with Trent and the like. Caleb can confidently say he belongs with the Mighty Nein and nowhere else.

He quietly shuts the door behind him and makes his way to the back of the room, making note to scour the rest of the room after he gets his nerves back. Caleb opens one of the glass doors and takes a deep breath as he’s hit with the rush of crisp, cool air that floods into his lungs. It’s chilly, but he doesn’t mind it much at all, the temperature such a pleasant contrast to that of the stuffy, crowded room below. 

The balcony isn’t very large, nor is the view spectacular or breath-taking, but it’s pretty enough, overlooking a simple garden in the backyard before a line of trees start a distance away. There’s only a small handful of people in the garden below.

Caleb leans on the balconies railing and closes his eyes, taking another deep inhale as he runs his thumb back and forth over the inconsistencies in the railing. The murmur of voices are so distant and muffled to where it doesn’t bother Caleb anymore, silence coating the rest of the night air. That paired with the slight chill allows his mind to calm, just a little, enough for his nerves to slowly start to drip away. Ten minutes out here ought to give him another hour back inside - the rest he can bare until everyone wants to leave, he supposes.

He doesn’t reach ten minutes uninterrupted, though - just barely six minutes pass before Caleb hears the turn of the door knob. He freezes before stepping aside, enough to be out of range of view from the glass door, and waits. The door creaks open, careful.

 _“Caleb?”_ He stifles his laugh as he hears Jester’s unmistakable voice, loud-whispering from the entrance. “Caleb are you in there.”

He steps carefully back towards the door, poking his head into view with a shy wave. _“Hallo.”_

She straightens out in the doorway, clasping her hands together, a smile on her face.

“Hi!” Jester cringes a bit at her own volume but corrects herself. “Hi, Caleb, can I bug you?”

“I wouldn’t call it bugging me, but _ja._ That’s okay.” 

She makes her way over to the balcony, her skirts flowing with a bit of heft to them. The dark blue, almost silky material rests just above her ankles, revealing her similarly colored, simple heels. The bodice is more complicated - backless, with a single, connected section of fabric that loops behind her neck and attaches to the skirt in two places. A thin, mesh-like material embroidered with pale blue beads covers the middle of her chest where the opaque fabric doesn’t.

“Is everything alright?” Caleb asks, leaning back on his elbows on the railing again, and Jester reflects similarly, though she leans over the balcony with more exaggeration, taking a glance below them.

“Yeah, I’m good!” She smiles, looking back over to Caleb. Her cheeks glitter all silvery in the moonlight with whatever makeup she put on prior, almost like crushed diamonds are scattered across her face. He’s always found Jester to be pretty, but even now it’s ever more apparent in the way she almost seems to glow with the light bouncing off of the beads on her dress. “I was going to ask you, though, are _you_ good, ‘cause you ran off. Well, not ran, but yeah.”

“Oh. I am alright, I guess.” Caleb turns his gaze back in front of him. “I needed a breather. There was … too much at once.”

She nods in understanding. “If you need more time, I can go, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t like sad or lonely or anything, it’s okay.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you stayed, I’m fond of you.” He can’t help but smile back at the smug smile Jester gives him. “Thanks for checking on me. I hope I didn’t interrupt your fun.”

“You didn’t.” She assures, leaning back a little on the rail, fidgeting in place like she usually does. “Besides, you _said_ you would dance with me, so! I couldn’t let you disappear for too long.”

“I - I suppose I did promise that, yes.” He _did,_ in fact, more on an impulse when Jester had asked everyone in the group on their way here. He found it caused more nerves than anything to prick in the back of his mind the more he thought about it throughout the night - having to dance in front of a lot of people, in front of _Jester, especially_ and probably fucking it up, so Caleb never brought it up again. “Since you were with Beau and Fjord, I didn’t want to intrude. Or bug you.”

“They’re kind of shitty dancers to be honest.” Jester leans over as she speaks, talking with one of her hands shielding one side of her mouth like she’s spilling a secret, but then she straightens out her posture. “Still a lot of fun, though! I love dancing.”

“You’re quite good at it.”

“So are you!” She smiles again.

“You’ve only seen me dance while I was sloshed, that is a total lie.”

“Okay, maybe, yeah.” Jester rocks back on her heels, holding herself upright only by keeping a grip on the railing before leaning back forward. Caleb has no idea how she almost seems to have energy constantly - though he guess he could say the same about himself, but his is fueled by nerves more than anything. “But it was still really cute, I think we should dance still, but only if you feel like it, cause I know you don’t feel really good right now. I don’t want to make you go out there or anything.”

“I would like that, you - you are nice to be around.” 

“Yay!” She smiles once more, leaning over to give him a very loose, one-armed hug before twirling back dramatically into the study area. Caleb can’t help but give an amused little smile, following her, though with far less flare. “You know, if you don’t want to go downstairs yet we can dance up here, there’s a lot of room up here I think. And less people too.”

He honestly doesn’t know if that’s better or worse, just the two of them, but before he has time to worry over it over his brain jumps ahead and spits the answer out for him. _“Ja,_ okay.”

“Teach me how do the dance you tried to last year? I only remember parts of it, though, like …”

Jester trails off and begins a section of the dance she was talking about, miming as if she has a partner with her. Not too long after she begins, she gets to a section where she hops a bit, kicking one of her legs out to the side delicately - well, delicately as can be expected with Jester - before morphing into a series of twirls, moving back towards Caleb. She stops at where she seems to forget the rest of the moves, freezing in a pose with a flare not quite typical to the dance.

“That's … the Län -”

 _“Ländler!_ Yeah, yeah, that was it.” She claps her hands together. “Do you remember all the moves and stuff? Can you show me please?”

Caleb nods and gestures for Jester to come closer before posturing himself to the starting position. “How could I possibly forget?”

“Dunno, maybe you repressed all your dance moves and they only come out when you're wasted” She shrugs, a smile still on her face as takes Caleb's hands in her own, reflecting his pose. She still keeps a respectful enough distance away from him - she's always thoughtful when it comes to his boundaries and he's thankful - but Caleb can still feel the heat radiating off of her.

“With all the shit going on in my head I don't know if a dance would be the first thing my brain would want to repress.” He shakes his head, dismissing the point. “Anyway - it starts like this …”

Caleb starts out awkward and stiff in the way he usually is, though he's especially awkward at dancing; the steps are embedded in his brain but still, getting his limbs to do the work properly is another challenge. Jester, though, is almost a natural at it. She picks up the steps easily, and on top of that, she's able to fall into it like she's been doing this for years - every motion seems so _Jester_ in her own way, relaxed yet filled with life, it’s incredible.

As the time passes, he finds himself able loosen up and relax as well. Jester just seems to have that effect, really; even among her bright personality she still seem comes through as a calming, comforting presence to Caleb. She embraces whenever one of them trips up or steps on the other's feet or some other mistake and doesn't make it a source of frustration, just builds it up into something playful that can be giggled over. 

It's … indescribably wonderful, their little moment of peace inside the study, held together with their conversation and their laughter and the taps of their heels against the floor. Astrid does not cross his thoughts, not once, in this little bubble. All that matters to Caleb in this moment is Jester and that she's having a good enough of a time.

The practiced dance eventually divulges into something more silly and spontaneous, completely abandoning the set steps into some dance Jester seems to develop on her own accord. That dies down too, though, morphing into a very simple sway in the center of the room, just about centered in the circular patch of moonlight from the window.

Jester's closer to Caleb than she was at the start, one hand resting on his shoulder, the other clasping his hand off to the side, with his free hand is settled loosely on her waist. Her heels help make up a little for their height difference, the crown of Jester's head just about reaching eye-level with Caleb.

In the midst of their chatter it suddenly hits Caleb that this all feels way too intimate and he can't help but stiffen a bit, the relaxed state he's been in slowly, slowly starting to peel away. He doesn't feel like he should be allowed this.

The hand on Caleb's shoulder shifts a little, spreading out over the front of his blue tunic, Jester almost judging the fabric underneath her fingertips.

“Momma let us borrow all this fancy shit but I don't know if we should give it back.” She nods, gaze going back up to meet Caleb, her expression shifting to something more excitable. “We should just wear these clothes all the time.”

He huffs out a laugh. “I don't know, this is all very uncomfortable. Nor protective. We would be dead in a flash.”

“Caleb, you don’t even wear any armor though.”

He throws a face and Jester giggles at him.

“Plus, we’d all look super hot.” Jester must recognise the flash of self-deprecation across his face because he own expression screws up almost into a pout. “Yes, you too! You’re handsome.”

Caleb looks down, tries to ignore the heat creeping up in the back of his neck. “Put lipstick on a pig and it's still a pig, Jester.”

“You're really handsome even when you're not dressed up, though! Even when we've been on the road for two weeks.”

Caleb only makes a vague, indignant sort of noise in response.

“Mhm!” He catches Jester's smile on the outside of his vision. One of her hands lift up to softly cup the side of his cheek; Caleb's face feels like it's burning at this point and he's sure she can probably feel it. “Your jaw's really nice, and so are your cheekbones, and your nose is really cute too. And … and you're eyes are _so pretty,_ Caleb.” 

The last sentence comes out incredibly soft on Jester's tongue and his heart has to skip a little.

“You only say that because they are blue.” Caleb says quietly.

“Maybe, but it’s a good color on you though!” 

She gives his cheek a playful pinch before dropping her hand, in addition to letting go of Caleb’s. Her hands now rest behind his neck, entwined, and he reflects Jester similarly, resting his other hand carefully on her waist. Even with his bandages and the fabric of her dress the heat underneath his palms is pleasant and an impulse in the back of Caleb’s mind says _get closer, kiss her_ but he shows restraint. Not now - or ever, really. Jester ever wanting to be closer to him his unimaginable, not when there’s literally everyone else in the world. 

He is selfish, though, and still let’s himself have this moment, even though he probably doesn’t deserve it.

“Caleb,” Jester says after a moment of quiet, pulling himself out of his thoughts. “Are you happy? With like ... all this and everyone, where we’re at?”

“I … I think so.” Caleb pauses, chews on his lip for a moment. “Considering my circumstances, I think I am almost as happy as I can be, I think, if that makes sense. All of you have - have helped a lot, with all my bullshit, and I’m grateful beyond words.”

“I can tell, ‘cause you’ve changed since we first met, but not like, in a bad way. I’m really proud of you, you know, coming this far already.” Jester smiles softly up at him. “I hope you can be really happy one day.” 

“With you, and Nott, and everyone else, I think that might be achievable, just maybe. I haven’t had hope in a very, very long time, and it’s because of you all. You, especially.” Caleb says, voice soft.

“I’ll always be here for you, whenever you need me.” She nods, gaze flickering somewhere else for a brief moment. “I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“T - thank you, Jester.” He smiles just barely, shy, his eyes making contact with her briefly before having to flicker away. “I’m glad to have you around. Truly.”

“Me too.”

There's a few more beats of silence, both still loosely moving back and forth in their dance, Caleb's eyes fixed just off the side of Jester. He barely registers her movement stopping before suddenly she's rising up on her toes, hands shifting to rest on Caleb's shoulders, then her lips are up against his own. It’s a soft, gentle kiss, far from forceful - an invitation to take it further, not a demand or a push for it.

It takes Caleb by surprise and he has to freeze for a split second, brain trying to catch up on exactly what's happening before he melts into it. His hands on Jester's waist settle to more surely on her hips as one of her own hands gently cup Caleb’s jaw, thumb stroking back and forth against the stubble on his cheeks.

It almost feels foreign, since it's been such a long time since he last kissed anyone, but it also feels strangely familiar, comfortable, like this is where Caleb belongs. Jester feels warm and sweet underneath him, the slightest taste of wine and some other sweets still lingering on her lips. 

Jester's the first to pull back. In that space is just enough time for nerves to start to spark in the back of Caleb's mind, a sudden worry that this isn’t what he was supposed to do, that he messed up somehow. Jester rests back down on the flats of her feet, hand going back to perch on Caleb’s shoulder. He awkwardly flexes the hands on her hips, not sure what he should be doing with them. 

“Was - was that okay?” She asks, gaze flittering around Caleb’s face, searching. His cheeks burn and he’s sure that he probably looks like a creature surprised by a Light spell.

“I, uh - _ja. Ja, ich_ \- it’s more than, um, fine.” Caleb tries his best to keep his eyes on Jester, to show her that yes, he means it, but the best he can manage right now is looking at her nose bridge. A million thoughts are bursting in the back of his head, all branching out in worrying ways, unsure what Jester means by this, if she actually wanted to kiss him, or if was something out of pity. He doesn’t know. “I just - I don’t get - why?”

“Because I like you.” Jester says simply, her thumb rubbing back and forth on Caleb’s shoulder, soothing. “And because I wanted to - and I’ve been thinking for a while that you might feel kinda the same, too? Or, I hope.”

“Oh.” Her saying everything plain and outright helps, if a little, the nervous thoughts starting to dwindle. “That’s - that’s right, _ja._ I don’t know when it even started, the feelings, it just … happened.”

Jester smiles, wiggling a bit on her heels, flexing one of her hands on his shoulder in a soft squeeze. “I guessed, but like, I didn’t want to be wrong, ‘cause I know sometimes I look into things too much - especially if it’s like something I wanted, having a crush on you and stuff. And I didn’t want to push you or anything and make you uncomfortable.” She shrugs, giving a nervous little laugh. “And I’m sorry, I should have asked before kissing you, probably, you were just being really sweet and you’re super handsome and - and it was a big impulse.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry, but your thoughtfulness means a lot, truly, not a lot of people are considerate with that. I know I can be … like handling broken glass.” He fingers fidget nervously over the beads on Jester’s dress. “I was, um, thinking the same, about kissing you. I just didn’t think you could ever be interested in me, at all, not when you are so - _you,_ and I am so … undesirable.”

“I don’t think that.” She says, voice soft. “Like I said, you’re - you’re a really good person, Caleb, even if you can’t see it very well. And you’re really smart and cute and I care about you a lot.”

“Is … this something you want to explore further, then?”

“Like being _a thing?”_ She raises a brow, voice titling in a silly tone.

Caleb nods. _“Ja,_ a thing. Together.”

“I’d like that a whole lot.” Jester smiles, fidgeting on her heels, her voice sincere. “You make me really happy.”

He smiles shyly, ducking his head as another blush starts to dust his cheeks again.

“Good. Good, I’m happy, too.” Caleb looks back up to Jester and moves his hand to cup her cheek. “Is it alright if I kiss you?”

“Yes, please,” 

He leans down to meet her lips this time, smiling a little into the kiss when he feels Jester’s hands go to cup both sides of his face. When Caleb pulls back, she holds his face in place a distance away, just long enough to press a kiss to the tip of nose, parting with an exaggerated _mwah._ They both can’t help but giggle.

Jester pulls her hands away to hold Caleb’s at her sides, swinging their conjoined hands between them as she leans back a little on her heels. “Do I get to tell everyone you’re my super cute handsome partner now?”

Caleb chuckles. “If - if that’s what you would like to do. _Ja.”_

“Okay!” She lets go of one of his hands but continues to swing the other hand between them. “Do you want to go back down stairs now or?”

As soon as he agrees, Jester walks both of them towards the door, a slight, happy bounce to her step. They walk down the hall, hand still in each other’s as they make their way back towards the main room, and Caleb finds he can’t stop smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> There's a close reference to the bodice of Jester's dress, [here](http://fashion-runways.tumblr.com/post/150472721436/reem-acra-at-new-york-fashion-week-spring-2017)
> 
> This is my first time writing Jester so I hope it turned out alright! I might write more for this pairing in the future, we'll see, cause I love them a lot. Thank you for reading!!  
> Please let me know what you think, comments mean a lot to me and keep me going, even if it's just something as small as your favorite moment or line!


End file.
